If you’re like me, there are those times when you see another woman and think, “Wow! She’s really got it together.” You might even wish you could be like her in some ways. Maybe she’s got great fashion sense or fabulous hair or a happy home. If unchecked, your wishing might turn into jealousy. I know because I’ve been down Jealous Rd. before. It ain’t cute. (chuckle) As the aforementioned scripture says, “envy makes the bones rot.” It makes you ugly from the inside out. Often, you don’t even realize that you are being consumed by jealousy and bitterness. Friends and family may distance themselves from you and romantic relationships either end or continue to elude you. I mean, everybody complains from time to time, but generally speaking, nobody wants to chill with Negative Nina. Fortunately, I never got to the point where I became completely ugly, but it definitely effected my outlook on life and my attitude. As I grew closer to God, I realized that I was often negative and mean because I coveted what others had. I was not reflecting God’s love.
So I did three things to help improve my ‘tude.
1) I prayed about it. I surrendered my emotions to God.
2) I spoke to one of my girlfriends about the situation. She recommended a self help/devotional type book that she had read called, Character Makeover by Katie Brazelton and Shelley Leith. This book was a true God send. It not only helped me think thru my issues of jealousy, but also contentment, self confidence, pride, etc.
3) I checked my motives. I asked myself if I wanted what this woman had because I thought it would help me serve God and love his people, or if I wanted it because I was not content. So now I focus on appreciating and complimenting these phenomenal and inspiring women. Then, I see how I can enhance my love walk by incorporating what they might have, with my own flair. For example, a friend of mine praised his wife for preparing his meals in advance, despite her work and their child. Instead of being jealous of the fact that her husband praised her publicly, or hating on her, I decided that I would be inspired and get moving. Since then I have been preparing my husbands breakfast and lunch. But here’s the key – I don’t do it for public praise. I do it because it makes my husband happy. I do it because I love him and I want him to be happy. That happiness strengthens our marriage. As I serve him, I am serving God.
- Pray about your issue.
- Don’t be afraid to share your situation and ask for help. You’re not alone.
- Have an accountability partner.
- Be inspired and get moving. Take ideas from the phenomenal women around you to enhance your love walk.
- Be content.