Preparation for Marriage

Straight Talk

 CeCe Winans “Waging War” is one of my praise, battlefield anthems.  If you have not heard it, honey click on the link. LOL  So when I heard my husband and son playing that song this morning I went into immediate praise!  After I got my dance on I felt led to write.

Like CeCe says in the song, “We’re fighting unseen enemies like never before. We’re waging war.”  In order to fight these enemies the TRUTH must be told.  So I ask God to “Be my sword, be my shield, as we claim the victory OVER the enemy.”  Here is the truth that is weighing on my heart this morning:

“No, he doesn’t go to church, but he’s spiritual.”

“She says she wants to wait until after we’re married to find a church home.”

“He doesn’t go to church because most church people are hypocrites.”

“Tithe?  I don’t know what they do with my money!”

Hmmmmmmn… Ya this is bully whop as my mother would say.  I’m not saying that people can’t change, but what I am saying is don’t be foolish.  If you know that having a relationship with Christ is the most important thing is this life, how can you settle for a man or woman who doesn’t have an authentic relationship with Him?  If your person of interest does not know Christ, read the Bible, and have some sort of spiritual accountability, how can you expect them to treat you with the love of Christ?  How can you expect them to act like a husband or wife as the Bible describes if they do not read the Word?

I’m not trying to be preachy, this just weighs on my heart from time to time.  I’ve only been married 4 years, so I remember very clearly my journey as a single Christian woman desiring to be married.  I have a number of friends, both male and female who desire Biblical marriage but are not seeking it in a Biblical way.

1) Do you have a church home?

You absolutely need a covering.  All this “church people are hypocrites” – people everywhere are hypocrites but you don’t let that stop you from getting what you need.  You going to church is about YOUR spiritual meal.  Pray and ask God where he wants you to be.  Listen.  He’ll tell you.  Then you need to focus on hearing from Him every time you are there.

Before I was married, I attended Redeeming Love Family Church in Fayetteville, NC.  My Pastor and his wife were a beautiful example of a Christian couple.  They were not perfect, and were not too proud to share their struggles in marriage and as parents.  They made it a priority to pour into the singles in the church that went beyond preparing them for marriage, because not everyone wants to be married.  I grew so much at this church.  God truly used my pastors to speak to me.  It seemed like whatever I had been praying about was discussed in the Sunday sermon or Wednesday night Bible study.  It was wonderful!  The pastors prayed for and with me regarding many issues, especially my relationship with Jonathon.  They allowed me to nurture my God given talents by participating on the praise team and working with the teen ministry.  They taught me the importance of tithing.  This was a pivotal time in my life, and an important space where God needed to dwell to prepare my heart for what was to come.  I truly miss that church home. 🙂

2) Are you reading your Bible?

How can you know what God says if you don’t read His Word?  How can you know what God desires for His people if you do not read His Word?  How can you wage war is you are not armed?  Start slowly.  Don’t feel like you need to read the whole Bible in a month.  Get a concordance or pop on the internet and look up scriptures that relate to what you are most concerned.

3) Are you tithing?

Once you find a church home you should be tithing 10% of your income before taxes.  Yes, before taxes.  I guarantee it is more beneficial to sow into God’s economy than the world’s.  Although God will bless you regardless of whether you tithe or not, your increase will be greater when you trust Him with your tithe.  Many people say they do not not tithe because they don’t trust the church who gets the money.  Ummm why are you at this church then?  Join a church whose missions align with your beliefs.  That way you know that God’s money is being used the way God intended, to help His people.  As a single and married woman I have tithed.and seen the benefits – “press down, shaken together, and running over” (Luke 6:38).

If you are going to trust God to connect you with your spouse, then you need to TRUST GOD.  He will do what He says He will do.  Don’t hang on to Joe, Bob, Jillian, or Tiana if you know they are not the one.  Be complete in your singleness.

Always Striving,


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