Budgeting, Financial Peace, Marriage, Personally Striving

Let’s Chat About Checking Out (Budgeting)

Previously, I shared how five years ago I checked out regarding financial matters.  Although my husband is good with numbers and is pretty smart with money, let me tell you why my checking out was dangerous.

“She will do him good and not evil all of her days.” – Proverbs 31:12

I placed undue stress on Jonathon.  He is my husband, not my Daddy.  My checking out forced him into a disciplinarian type role when it came to allocating funds.  When I didn’t get what I wanted I would pout, argue, and generally run my mouth.  Jonathon was left with two choices: Tell me no and hear my mouth or tell me yes and have to readjust and rearrange money to keep our bank account balanced.  There were plenty of times when he told me no, but as day leads on to day, attitude leads on to more attitude.  The “no” became “yes” more often, and the juggling game became more fierce for Jonathon.  I know some of you are thinking, “Whatever!  I would have told her no and that would be that.”  Well, maybe, but Jonathon is human.  He is my husband and he wanted to make me happy.  I mean, my habits weren’t bankrupting us.  Besides, telling me “no” could mean a week long stand off.  (I’m almost embarrassed admitting to my silliness.  Jesus!)  Needless to say this back and forth caused tension.

We are supposed to be a team in all matters.  Naturally, each person has strengths.  In general, you defer to or submit to the person who excels in a particular area, but you do not completely fold.  You work as a team through the decision making process.

In regard to the finances, Jonathon is better with numbers and can work a spreadsheet, but I am naturally more organized and can multi-task.  Combining our superpowers at a budgeting meeting is like magic.  I keep our bills paid on time and remember all of the little things that need to be included as the budget changes month to month.  Jonathon calculates all kinds of numbers in his head, puts formulas into the spreadsheet so we are working smarter, not harder, and generally sees the bigger picture while keeping me calm as the numbers fluctuate.      

Additionally, what if, God forbid, something was to happen to Jonathon?  I would have no idea what was what or where to look for it.  Yes, my name is on every account, but I had no clue what we were paying to whom, when, or why.  Not good.  When you are dealing with a tragedy, whether an accident or a death, the last thing you need is confusion in your finances.  Your house needs to be in order.

Always Striving,

Joce

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